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Politicians are like hermaphrodites… …they look good at first, but you’re completely screwed once * It’s Election Day in the US. Can I vote against… everyone?    (92 votes) |
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39 Responses to “Election Day (We’re Screwed)”
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I kinda like Nevada’s “none of the above” option. I really wish we had it in Ohio, if only to make the people running uncontested feel that they have to do at least some token campaigning. I would LOVE it if politicians knew that they not only had to beat their opponent, but actually IMPRESS the voters.
I’m for approval voting, provided that the office goes vacant if no one can be found to whom 3/4 of the voters are willing to entrust it.
Believe me, you can be screwed equally well by all-female candidates as well!
Nick, shouldn’t that be Transgenders instead of Hermaphrodites?
At least with a Hermaphrodite you get all of what you expect, just with a bonus!
Yup, that’s not a hermaphrodite. It’s actually not a transgendered either, just a good photoshop job.
I’m no photoshopper, but that looks like a VERY good photoshop job. What tell-tales should we look for/have noticed?
The skin tone is well matched and that takes skill, so on that mark it’s very good. The anatomy is all wrong though.
As long as you (and everyone eligible) votes. And if you don’t like them, write ‘None of the Above’ it in in the Write In line.
Or, write in a cartoon character’s name. I seriously considered writing in Bill (the Cat) for President and Opus (the Penguin) for VP in the G. H. W. Bush vs Dukakis race. Their ‘campaign’ slogan was “Why Not The Worst?”
Not all US states allow (allowed?) write in votes. In extreme cases, ballots with such “extra” markings are considered “defaced”, and are discarded.
Frankly, I think the “go vote, no matter what you think” is a conspiracy to try and maintain a facade of legitimacy for a system that is failing to provide good choices.
I don’t think we’ve had ANY choice in the States for decades now. They all stand for the same things, vote for the same things and are paid equally by the same groups. Equal power corrupts equally. They just “invent” meaningless issues to squabble about in preparation for the elections to keep people from actually talking about actual issues.
As George Carlin said, “I don’t vote, so I’m not responsible for who gets elected, so I get to complain about them. If you vote, then you ARE responsible, so you don’t get to complain.”
the rest of it goes something like “so I just stay home and masturbate. It’s about as useful, and at least I have a little something to show for my effort”.
Thanks for the supplemental material!!
It’s sad that I used to be a big ‘get out and vote’ guy…but I’m just too sick of picking the person I hate less or that i think will screw me the least.
As the great Tuli Kupferberg said: “Who was it who set up a system — supposedly a democratic system — where you end up always voting for the lesser of two evils? Was George Washington the lesser of two evils? Sometimes I wonder.” Wide Wide River by the Fugs.
In that case, consult some well-meaning fool (they’re easy to find) and ask his opinion on the issues. Then vote the other way. That way, you’ll have done your part, negated a fool’s vote and avoided the tedious thinking and reading that is usually required of the franchise.
HA!!!
brilliant
But I know as many fools that blindly vote Democrat as ones that blindly vote Republican, so arent you just picking a side to help? Picking the lesser of two…/sigh
Even simpler. If you like the way things are, vote for those in power. If you don’t like the way things are, vote the rascals out.
I forget, is that Heinlein or Twain?
Heinlein.
Sounds remarkably similar to the advice of Lazarus Long
And, of course, the adventures of LL were chronicled by Heinlein.
Unfortunately, as more people fail to vote, especially in the primary elections, the worse the choices get. Why? Because the people most likely to vote in the primaries are those most passionate about their causes.
The net effect of this voter apathy is those we finally vote for in November are those put forth by those on the opposite ends of the political spectrum — the Far Right Conservatives and the Far Left Liberals.
Making matters worse, neither of these type of candidates has ANY incentive to compromise, because doing so angers their ‘base’, leading to gridlock and over-posturing to appease said base.
Even if you think you will vote for the ‘person who will screw me the least,’ please vote. If you don’t, them maybe the person who will screw us the most gets in office.
“Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don’t vote.” ~~~ William Simon (former businessman and US Treasury Secretary)
Voter apathy also comes from muddled messages and a failure of candidates to clearly differentiate themselves. If it takes too much effort to decide who is better, the (D) (R) or (I) candidates, people think it doesn’t matter. And to many who use terms like Republicrat or Demican it doesn’t.
Throw all the bastards out into the street – doesn’t matter who is running against ‘em. If we keep doing it, maybe the replacements will get the idea. Maybe. If not, we’re just plain screwed.
Yes, are do have the right to do this technically:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
However, you let me know how actually enacting this goes for you. I am pretty sure if you tried, you would be labeled as a terrorist under today’s current government. The Govt. today is more of a tyranny than anything else…
Let us change a few words in the next section, and you end up with this:
‘The history of the present GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.’
According to the local politico’s t.v. ads…they aren’t fit for anything or they are cohorts of Pelosi.
Let’s limit campaigning to 60-90 days and put a cap on spending.
I want to vote for ‘none of the above’ with a mandate that all open offices be filled by people who have actually worked at a job or profession (other than law) for at least 15 years.
Would Military service count? The late Adm. Hyman Rickover was probably the most intensely professional Navy man I ever met. He was not presidential material because he was a detail man and a blunt speaker (as well as honest). But I do understand your point of not re-hiring trough feeders all the time.
My just-18, voter-virgin daughter asked me why she should vote today, since she has no idea what any of the candidates stand for. Aside from lecturing her about becoming an informed voter, I got nothing. Is it better to vote blindly, or not vote at all? I seek the wisdom of the Council of The Pines in this, as in all matters of import.
Even if your “voter-virgin” daughter is otherwise a real virgin, she won’t be for long if she votes blindly. She could end up helping us all get screwed in the… wallet.
A first time voter with no clue and little ambition to listen to elders or wiser folks should just refrain. But then to promise themselves to become “politically aware” of the issues and candidates between now and the next election. Failing to do that is falling down on your obligation to the city, state and country.
i tend to agree w mrbill. as a newbie voter i blindly followed my elders & voted for bush – sorry, i know, tho it’s not like the other choice was a lot better. HEY, i said i’m sorry
anyhoo, i’ve been trying to pay more attention and become more informed since.
I’d ask her what her feelings/opinions were on 3-5 of the key issues out there, then help her find the candidate(s) that espouse those views, as well.
Even if she only identifies one real issue (say… Woman’s Right to Choose), it shows her the process she should follow as she moves forwards.
This might help:
http://www.ontheissues.org/default.htm
I agree with MrBill for you to encourage your daughter to pay more attention to issues that matter to her, and to her family for the next election.
Perhaps as things come up mention to her what the effect of issues would be on the family, and to her wants.
My first presidential election was for Ford. I did not trust Mr. Peanut who won.
With all due respect there was plenty of time to learn about the candidates and issues well before election day. I know the regular media is heavy on polls and light on substance but the info is out there if you look a little.
As they’d say on /b/,
It’s a TRAP!
I say vote for the crook of your choice…and you just might get lucky….and what gyffes says makes a lot of sense.
I’d take hir over any politician any day of the week.
Honestly the only thing that looks fake about the pic is that she looks way too cute and genuinely feminine to have a penis, and I’m not sure that’s a medically sound reason. I don’t claim to be specifically knowledgeable about either gender reasignment surgery or photoshop. I do know that “real” hermaphrodites are extremely rare to non-existent depending on what definition of “real” you us.